My Own Shadow
by whyyousoserious
Summary: ONESHOT "I've always been the selfish one. I want to do something for them. I want them to know how happy I am to play basketball with them. I want to say sorry for all the selfish things I've done. Of course... I want to stay with them too... As their Ace. But, I couldn't."


(This is not yaoi/shounen-ai but it also depends on your perspective. LOL.)

My Own Shadow (Oneshot)

whyyousoserious

*wink*

I opened my eyes and here I am lying on the floor. Yesterday was our defeat from Akashi. It totally broke our team's will.

I shook my head and tried to forget the idea. It was my last chance to be in the number one spot... but... thanks to Kuroko, I learned something new.

I learned that I could rely on my team mates, that... I'm not the only one who's capable of winning a game...

That we could all win together.

Especially when I did my play with Takao...

I sat up... why is my body not feeling hurt?

"Hmm..." I said as I rub my eyes and reached for my glasses which is on the table at the side of my bed.

WAIT.

I am on my bed. ON. MY. BED.

I remembered myself lying on the floor and never tried to get up... Honestly, I thought it would be my last night seeing my team mates.

"Ah, Shin-chan." Somebody called out.

Wh-What?! Why is there a human being inside my house? And Shin-chan? This is Takao.

"Why are you here Takao? And how the hell did you get inside my house?" I asked sternly as I get off my bed and head towards the kitchen where Takao's voice is coming from. I put my glasses on.

Why is he in the kitchen? Is he that hungry and poor to barge in my house for food?

When I entered the kitchen...

"Hey! This is supposed to be a surprise for you! Killjoy." He said with a pout as he takes a peek at me when he's cooking. He's wearing an apron. I don't remember having one in my house. And this ingredients... I don't have this things in my fridge.

"Well, what do you expect for me to do when a crazy guy barged in and went straight for the kitchen and I thought was eating everything inside my fridge. Huh?" I asked as I prepare two cups of coffee.

"Hmpf... A crazy guy?" He scoffed.

"By the way, how did you get those ingredients? I don't stock things like this." I said.

I placed the two cups on the table and sat.

He finished his dish and put it on a plate and placed it right infront of me.

"I bought these things... and this apron... I have it in my house." He said... still pouting.

A thought came into my mind, "How did you get inside?" I asked as I glared at him.

He smiled, "Heh, you forgot? I snatched your key copy when it is your lucky item right? Dumbo." He teased.

"Ahh... yeah. I forgot to kill you after..." I stood up and headed towards him, "Maybe I should do it now?" I said as I give him a wicked smile.

"Oh... sorry... should I give it back?" He asked as he trembles. I took two plates out and two pairs of chopsticks.

"No need... you can keep it. I've got nothing to do with it anymore. In fact I'm leaving this house soon." I said and gave a sigh.

"Ne, Shin-chan." He said as he sits down infront of the table with his hands on his cheeks, "Why didn't you tell us earlier?" He said as he takes off one hand from his face and stirs his coffee with a sad face.

I sat down.

"What?" I didn't quite understood. What is he talking about?

"No-Nothing." He stammered as he looked at the sides.

"You know, just go eat." I said and sighed.

"Thankyou for the food." We said and broke our chopsticks.

He was staring at me when I am about to eat... it makes me feel uneasy, "Oi..." I said as he gave me a shocked face.

He is so focused in me eating his dish, "Is there some poison that you put in here? You were staring at me with some kind of devilish aura." I said.

"Uhmm... no. Just thinking if my dish is good." He said and stuck his tongue out.

"Whatever." I said and eat his dish.

It's good. "Normal." I said without looking at him.

He pouted I guess.

"By the way, are you the one who put me on my bed?" I asked. He tensed up.

"Uhh... yeah." He replied.

"Okay." I just said.

"And... Uh... Shin-chan..." He called out like he really wanted to say something.

"What is it, Takao?" I said.

"Uhmm... No. Nothing." He said as he looked down.

I don't get it at all.

- '3'

"Shin-chan... I want to play basketball." He said as I got back from washing the dishes.

He had this permanent pout on his face while watching TV.

"I'm bored." He added.

"Then, if you're bored... try to get out of my house because I won't entertain your wishes." I strictly said as I push my glasses up.

"Ehhhh... Shin-cha~n... Don't be such a kill joy today... play basketball with me." He said with a pout... i mean, with his pout still on.

"Fine..." I said and there he goes with a big smile.

He stood up with his arms infront of him with a thumbs up, "Shin-chan! Thankyou!"

"Shut up." Well, I said that but honestly... I'd like to play basketball with everyone for one last time too... even if it's just a little bit.

- awww :(

I looked at my wrist watch... it says 7:39 am.

We're heading to our school to use the court. Since it's Saturday, guess no one will be around that much.

We were known as basketball members so we are allowed to get inside and when they know about our mental state, they just let us do what we want now somehow.

"Ne, Shin-cha~n, don't you want to try pedaling?" Takao says as he pants.

"Well, it's not like I don't want to... It's just that I can't... or maybe a better term is should not." I said as I drink my pocari.

"Y'know... I'm kinda thirsty too." Takao said as we stop infront of the court.

I stepped out and lead inside the court... then I threw pocari on his way too.

Since he has his hawk eye, he could see it everywhere so I just threw it in his face's direction.

"Ow!" He shouted so I looked at him instinctively.

"What the?!" I just reacted, he has a mark on his face...

"Don't tell me you didn't notice it and I was such a good shooter that it went straight in your face." I said as he catches the pocari w/c is thrown up when it his his face.

"Yeah! Exactly!" He shouted as he points his finger at me.

The hell?

I gained my composure and pushed my glasses up.

I was just about to say "whatever" but...

"Thankyou... Shin-chan." Takao said with a bright smile.

Well, I'd like to be a little gentler or whatever to Takao when I still have the time...

Honestly, I'd like to say sorry to our senpai's especially to Miyaji-senpai.

That guy just hates me to the bone.

I think I am doing this "self reflect" thing right now... I haven't done this for a while...

Well, since i am d-

"Shin-chan..." Takao called out.

I opened my eyes and see him pouting.

"What?" I said with a pissed tone. He just interrupted my thoughts.

"I thought we'll play basketball?" He asked as he passes the ball harshly to me.

I effortlessly caught the ball, "Yes... that's why we're here... dumbo." I said as I pushed my glasses up and dribbled.

"then, why are you in a daze? Confused about somethin'?" He asked as I shoot the ball from where I am standing.

"Honestly... you can shoot even outside the court? I wish I could see you shoot in the audience's seat." He said sarcastically with a scoff, "But the shoot in the audience's place... It's interesting so I wan't to see you shoot from there... Like, for real." He said as he points somewhere in the audience's seat... from the backseat.

"Whatever. Are we playing one-on-one?" I asked as I go towards the ball to pick it up.

"Hmmm... somehow." He said with a smile, "No abnormal shots for today okay?" He said as he points a finger at me.

"Fine. Here..." I said as I passed him the ball, "Try to win the first basket." I smirked.

He put on a serious smile as he dribbled the ball from his left hand to his right.

"Let's fight now..." He sang. Dim-witted guy.

I got in a defense position as he get's closer. I am 5 steps away from the basket so if he got infront of me he can dunk or do a lay up or what. But he's shorter... I can do this.

I stepped closer to him thinking about the possibility of him making a 3 pointer.

He dribbled the ball and he smirked.

He dribbled and moved to the right so I followed because of instincts... but it is a fake.

He went left and took a step back.

There he tried to make a 3 point shot but... I know it's fake again.

He just slightly jumped so after he fell down again I stole the ball and took a step back away from him.

I dribbled the ball as I try to get past him.

I moved to the left with the ball on my right hand and he followed so I dribbled the ball to my left hand and turned around to make a shot.

And of course... It went in.

I looked at him. He was pouting.

"Tell me, how can a guy with the hawk eye and is an expert with passes win against a member of the GOM and is also our team's ace?" He blabbered.

"Well, who is the idiot who asked me to play basketball." I teased.

"I dunno but I am sure that that idiot's name is not Takao." He said and I laughed.

"You defend." I said and there we played again.

We played until 9 something so we took a break.

"So it's 30 shots and 22 shots. So you have 90 points? The heck." Takao said as he pouts. That pout was always on today. It's annoying, more like disturbing.

"You're pouting." I said.

"So what?" He pouted more.

"That shoot you're sayin' earlier." He looked at me with his pout still on.

I pushed my glasses up as a sign of my pride... "I'll do it... for you to be happy. I've always been the selfish one." I said as I head to where he pointed some hours ago.

His expression is priceless. His mouth hanged open - I wish a mosquito would fly inside -, his eyes popping out of his head, he's slouching like he's lost but eventually...

He stood up straight and smiled brightly, "You think you could shoot from there, Shin-chan?" He teased.

"I could if I'd try." I said and proceeded. He chuckled and followed me with a big smile.

We reached the top...

"Well, I believe you can do it, Shin-chan." He said as he put his arms around my shoulder and we both stared at the basketball hoop which is... hmm... I really don't know how far we are from it.

We are elevated so I need to shoot faster and higher so it would be in.

"Takao... I'm going to shoot... take your arms off me." I said and he reacted fast.

"Hehe... sorry." I aimed for the shot, "Goodlu-"

And then I shoot with much force than the usual and higher than the usual.

As I expected it was longer than my usual shot. I am not even sure if it would go-

"You made it, Shin-chan!" I was stupefied as Takao glomps to me.

I did it. I just made that shot without much effort! I thought I need to do it twice for me to get it exact... but... I'm too great to make it in in first try?

"Amazing, Shin-chan! I'll treat you lunch later!" He shouted.

"That's great... Your pout's away now." I said with a sigh.

"Eh?" He didn't quite understood.

"Well, you look so down." I said as I face him.

"Honestly..." He looked down to his feet, "Shin-chan I saw-"

"Waaah! Did Midorima just made that shot?!" Some familiar voice shouted.

"It took a minute for me to process the whole thing in my mind!" Another one shouted.

"Miyaji, Kimura, shut up. I thought you guys hate Midorima to the bone?" He said and I twitched at the part when he said that they hate me to the bones.

Takao was trying his best not to laugh out loud and sat there on the corner laughing to himself.

I pulled him by his ears down the stairs and then there he shouted. We caught our senpai's attention.

"So it really is you... We saw that aw some shot... but that doesn't mean that I don't hate you anymore." Kimura-senpai said.

It's a compliment with hate.

"Yeah... that was supah awesoooome! But if you say something self centered like you're so great you can do that many times I will kill you using a truck... Understood?" That is... always happening. Miyaji-senpai gives me death threats with an eerie smile.

A Good thing to piss some humans.

I bowed as I let go of Takao's ear when we reached them.

They were shocked.

"What are you doing, Midorima?" Otsubo-senpai said.

"I just want to thank you for everything that you've done for me. For going on with my selfish requests... sorry for me being so selfish." I said. I just want to say it. Who cares?

"What is happening to you? You met Light Yagami and he said he'll write your name on his death note this night? Why are you apologizing? This feels weird." Kimura-senpai said and I looked up and pushed my glasses.

"Heh... Putting a goodie-goodie shoes on today, huh? You need something from us? Miyaji-senpai said with his knuckles cracking.

In everything I say they are thinking it is one of my selfish whims? Oh they are so kind to think of me like that.

"Just saying." I said as I turned my back from them.

I didn't receive a threat from Light Yagami a.k.a Kira... I received it from the nature and God itself. Just not tonight, I wish.

"Huh?" They all reacted and I walked away to pick up the ball.

They were staring... I feel 4 pairs of eyes glaring at me like what-the-heck?

I am under the ring now. I threw the ball up to the ring and it came in so I caught it after.

I feel stupid doing that but I wanted to do it for the last time.

I want to play with them for one last time.

"Can we play?" Takao asked them. I was shocked so I looked that way.

They were staring at Takao like his words is from another world.

"Sorry... No can do. My mom asked me to do something for her today." Otsubo-senpai said as he looked at me.

"But, I'll guess I'll go one-on-one with our ace-sama first." He said as he dropped his bag on the bench.

"We should change into our uniforms. Now. No buts or whatever just wear it." He ordered. Good thing we all washed it and left it in our locker rooms.

We changed into our basketball uniforms silently but Miyaji-senpai broke it, "By the way, where's your lucky item, Midorima?"

"I don't need it anymore. I'll accept my fortune for what it would be for the day. Good or bad. I don't care anymore." I answered.

"You've changed." Otsubo-senpai and Kimura-senpai said in chorus.

"That's life... People change..."

Takao just sighed.

"I'll buy us some drinks first." I offered. I need to think about how I'd say it to them. I need some time to be alone for now.

(Locker room)

"Senpais..." Takao started.

He caught the attention of his senpais with his serious tone.

"There is something I've wanted to tell you since morning. I just knew it earlier too." He added. Thinking twice if he should say it already or wait for Midorima to tell them.

"What is it?" Mijayi said as he closes his locker.

"You're so serious that it scares me, Takao." Kimura said after he put his jersey on.

"Spit it out." Otsubo said and he sat beside Takao.

"Miyaji-senpai noticed that... he doesn't have his lucky item today... right?" Takao asked and he looked at Miyaji who nodded.

"And he said he'll accept his fortune from now on..." Takao stated sadly. He looked down.

"H-Honestly, I went to Shin-chan's house this morning." He said, "And when I opened the door... I saw him lying on the floor with his glasses far from him."

"What?!" Miyaji reacted and the other two just waited for Takao to proceed. They are worried too but, Midorima seems healthy for them.

"I thought he was beaten up but he doesn't have any bruises or something. And when I was about to pull him up... I saw something come off his coat. I put him on his bed and I picked the thing that came out." He gulped. "It was a medicine tablet." Then they looked worried again. Shock, care, concern and worry were painted on their faces.

"I looked at him. And something caught my eye... The brown folder on top of the table beside his bed. I got curious and went towards it. I looked at it and it has this logo of the hospital near here." They got the idea but they were still scared to assume that thing... They just waited for Takao to speak up.

"I opened it... Well, you know... when your bestfriend has this somewhat weird folder that is from the hospital, you'll get curious a.k.a concerned right?"

'Bestfriend... do he consider me as his bestfriend? Maybe not.' Takao thought.

"Well, going back..." He said in a gloomy way, then paused for some seconds...

"Uhmm... Shin-chan..." And then the door opened.

(Back to Midorima's POV:)

I opened the door with my eyes closed and said, "Sorry it took so lo-" And when I opened my eyes they were staring at me...

Maybe they should stop staring or else I think I'll melt.

"U-Uhmm... Shin-chan... H-how long are you staying there behind the other side of the door listening?" He said. Honestly, I can't understand a single thing he said.

"What the heck did you just said? What language is that?" I said.

"Uh... n-nothing... Hehe." He faked a laugh.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked them. I feel that there is something they are hiding from me.

Well, I am not one to talk... I am hiding something from them too.

"Uhm... Takao's telling a story..." Kimura-senpai said pointing at Takao.

"Eh?! W-why me?" Takao reacted.

"The heck Kimura!" Miyaji-senpai shouted at him.

"Guys calm down." Otsubo-senpai said as he gestures for them to turn it down. But he is ignored.

They feel weird, but I still asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Takao's bestfriend." Miyaji-senpai said and he somehow hit his lips hard like a punishment.

Takao did the "face palm" and Otsubo-senpai said something like stupid or something, Kimura-senpai looks like panicking.

"What about Takao's bestfriend?" I asked and they froze.

They turned their faces to look at me with their eyes almost out of their heads and their faces pale and... erm... I know it's somehow mean but... They look so ugly.

"Uhm... hospital... At the hospital." Otsubo-senpai said and they looked at him like a death stare... a silent death stare.

"Working! At the hospital." He shouted out of panic.

"Dumbass! Idiot! Why would you say that?"

"You're the one who told us to shut up, right?"

"I didn't! Stupid!"

"Yow! Shut up!"

They were such a mess right now. They were holding each others mouths and... looking like idiots.

"So who is this bestfriend of Takao's?" I asked. The hell? Why would they panic just because of it?

They let go of each other and sat properly.

Miyaji-senpai has his hand under his chin, Kimura-senpai is pouting, Otsubo-senpai has his hand over to his chest and sighed as they say, "You're so dumb... Midorima." They said it silently but loud enough for me to hear.

Takao...

Takao was falling to his seat... nearly. But he gained balance and sat properly. He gave out a relieved sigh.

So I asked again... "Who is this best friend of Takao's that you're talking about?" I demanded.

"Eh?!" Takao reacted... "Is Shin-chan jealous? But Shin-chan is my only bestfriend!" He said and regretted it as the words came out from his mouth.

The other three glomped at him as he shouts.

They are so noisy. It's like they are raping some girl... sorry for the example.

Well, I am not Takao's bestfriend... But he just said that I am. Well, I think so.

But, I don't work at the hospital.

I go there for check-ups.

What the hell are they talking about?

I guess... Takao knows. The folder is not on my side table earlier.

I knew it.

"Guys, calm down." Then they did, "I'll say something after we play. Let's go to the court."

If I say something like this... the demanding things... they will say something threatening so I am shocked that... they were smiling.

I was just about to say something when suddenly they jump at me to hug me.

"Wha-Wha-What?! Let me go!" I shouted as they bring me down.

We're lying on the floor now.

"We won't!" The three of them said.

Takao is not hugging-

"Shin-cha~n!" As he comes into my view and lands on top of us.

"waah!" They shouted.

And then we sat on the floor. They were all laughing.

I am not used to people who are laughing. I don't laugh much like normal people.

I don't laugh joyfully with others...

But today's different.

I laughed with them even if it's for a short time.

I'm glad they are my team mates. I'm glad Kuroko made me realize that...

This team... is one of my greatest gifts.

I'm glad I'm in Shutoku High...

I'm glad I'm in Shutoku's basketball team...

I'm happy to be one of the Generation of Miracles...

But I am grateful to be the Shutoku basketball team's ace.

I am Midorima Shintarou, Position: Shooting guard, Proud to be Shutoku's ace.

- ace-sama

Otsubo-senpai played one-on-one with me for the first hour and then we had our lunch.

Lucky me. Takao payed for mine.

We just ordered food from the resto and have it delivered here.

The delivery boy even asked for our signatures.

We kindly did his request. Then we rest for a bit after we ate.

Then we played again.

We played up until to 5 pm.

I can't even believe I am still standing for playing almost 8 hours straight.

We take a break for 20 mins after every 40 mins.

We're all exhausted now.

Miyaji-senpai called us all out with Otsubo-senpai on his side already as he sat.

We formed a circle.

"Ne, Ace-sama... Our captain is needed by his mother already so I think we better stop this game already and hear what you have to say." Miyaji-senpai said with a kind smile.

Err...

"What's with the err?" Kimura-senpai asked.

Eh? I said it out loud?

I pushed my glasses up, "U-Uhmm... You see, it's the first time Miyaji-senpai..." I paused to look at him but he still have this kind smile on, I was expecting him to be on fire like Satan.

"Smiled to me with a kind smile." I was expecting a threat from him again but a pat on the shoulder is what I received.

"Eh?" I reacted as I look at him.

"Sorry for those violent threats... I'll try to speak more gentler." He said.

"Sorry for my "second the motion"s... I'll try not to." Kimura-senpai added.

"So... since you are always the selfish one..." Takao said...

Somehow it was pissing me off the way he said that I'm always the selfish one.

"Promise us you'll survive..." They said as they gave me those kind expressions I never knew that I'd deserve.

"I-I'm sorry... For everything... You guys always listened to me... not always but... 3 whims a day is enough... Thankyou for taking care of me this year. Thankyou for everything. Sorry for the selfish things I did. Thankyou so much." I said as I bowed down.

They smiled and patted my back, slightly hugged me to give some comfort and said kind words.

I looked up to them and saw them all smiling...

I honestly wish that I could do what they want... They've always been the one doing my request.

Finally, they asked me to do something seriously... a hard thing to do...

I've got this disease already ever since I'm young. That's why I've been believing to horoscopes. I always bring my lucky item for me to neutralize my bad luck for the day and try to contradict my fortune of dying if I will be.

Then... I didn't bring my lucky item today because when I got back home from our fight with Rakuzan... I dropped by at the hospital.

- (FLASH BACK [lol... it's just yesterday. haha.])

I went inside my private doctor's room to have my check-up.

He did some examinations and went outside.

He told me I can change my clothes on the other room so I went there.

When I got changed on the other room I came back to my doctor's room and saw no one inside so I decided to go to the wash room.

I walked downstairs and saw that there are some people left. The only nurse I see went inside a room and the patient that was waiting for someone was already being fetched so I am all alone in this path now.

On the way to the wash room was a straight pathway but there are some ways to the right and left.

I looked at the right path because of my instintcs... but I don't know, I always do that. The I saw two figures... my doctor talking to another doctor and they look like they're having some serious conversation. They were on the corner where it is a dead end. I didn't mean to listen to them because I thought they are talking about personal business - even if I was thinking he is somewhat irresponsible for him to talk about things with others when a patient is waiting for the results - but I heard my name.

I froze on the spot and tried to focus on their conversation. It's not like I'm eavesdropping... but is it wrong to listen to a conversation that is concerning you yourself?

I just leaned on the wall and try to listen to the small sound reverberating through the walls.

My heart is pumping and I don't know why... Am I scared that they are talking about me... and that... I'm scared to know what they are talking about me...?

I just sighed it all off. I'll find out sooner or later so I tried to move my feet towards my destination which is somewhat 10 steps closer but a voice stopped me.

"He's dying."

Two words... I just heard it because I eavesdropped... now I regret it. He was explaining it to the other doctor but I don't quite understand... it's something like "since he already have that disease when he's still young... we can't do anything but to pray for a miracle to happen." But... one thing is spinning around my head...

I'm dying... I'm dying... I'm dying...

Only a miracle can save me now.

I looked up at the ceiling.. ignoring the explanation given by my doctor to the other.

God... why?

- TT^TT Kamisama... doushite?

I moved my body to the wash room... I am feeling sleepy so I washed my face.

I dried my face with my towel and looked up to the mirror on the wall.

This wash room is big. I never thought it could be this big. And it's so clean here. The white tiles are almost sparkling. To think the toilet was on the most corner to the left. You have to take 10 or lesser steps to be infront of it after you got in.

This wash room is just so big.

I feel like I'm caged in a white room... not able to do anything but everything's so pure about it.

(a/n: I honestly don't know where I got that idea. -_- It's a random thought)

I was gazing at the window on the right side... outside was a view of the moon. There was a figure of a man and a piano. I got curious and went closer.

As I thought... someone placed a figurine of a pianist on the window sill.

I reached out to get it... I realized I haven't played the piano for a while. I stopped playing it after I knew about my condition.

I put it back. The view of it from afar is wonderful and I don't have any right to take it off there.

I remembered my condition...

Why of all people did God chose me? I've done everything I can... but, why is still not enough? How much more should I do? How much more should I give? How much more should I sacrifice?

Akashi once told me...

"You can ask God "why?" but you should never go against Him. Accept everything He gives to you because some people have much more than you do. Don't blame Him for the things going around you. Be thankful for everything He gives... good or bad. He gives you trials because He knows you're strong enough to carry it and He wants you to be stronger. Sometimes, He gives you hardships for you to realize something important... something you should realize. Remember... after the rain comes the rainbow."

I didn't understand this wise words that time... but now... I fully understand it.

I took my glasses off and looked down because my eyes are getting blurry... I blinked.

And hot tears rolled down from my eyes.

I was shocked when I realized I was crying. Then, my heart hurts like hell and my head aches that I think it'll burst sooner or later. I can't breathe properly and my lungs are on fire. My chest just hurts so much that I put my hand on it and I realized I was falling down. I was gasping for air... I'm crying so hard. I tried to gain balance by leaning on the wall but I still fell on my knees. I grasped on to the sink and leaned my back to the wall. I opened my mouth and tried to bring oxygen to my lungs as I relaxed my position.

I am panting so hard. Then suddenly I feel so stupid for crying over things like this. Then I blamed myself. I was asking myself that I was thinking that this thing is just nothing. Then I hated myself for being so fragile. Hated myself for being stupidly vulnerable. I hate it that I can't do anything about it. And now I'm crying like a stupid crap like it would somehow change a little thing.

I curled up and my head are on my knees. I stupidly sobbed right there. In a comfort room of a hospital.

I hate it. My life is such a crap... a worhtless life that'll end soon and never been offered for some time to clean up all the mess I made.

I... I feel so helpless.

- :'(

I washed my face again and looked at the mirror. Thank God my eyes aren't that red.

I put my glasses on and picked up the pieces of my composure.

What happened inside here is just so lame.

I head out of this room and went to my doctor's room. Luckily, he's still not here.

I sighed as I sat down.

I waited for some more minutes and the door opened.

I sighed as he comes in with an apologizing smile, "Sorry for the wait."

It kinda bothers me that he's smiling at me when he is just about to tell me some bad news...

I think I am pouting.

He sat down infront of me and his smile faded as he handed me a brown folder.

I reached out to get the folder and he said, "Open it."

I did what he said. I took a glance of what it says but I'm just staring and not processing it in my mind. The more I know about my sickness, the more my chest aches, the more I feel like crying...

The more I feel PAIN.

He's explaining it to me while he points something on the papers on my hands.

I look at them for it to look like I am listening. My heart just beats so fast that it's the only thing I could hear.

He talked and talked for almost 3 minutes with his comments like "Sorry, please fight it, don't give up, never back down" and more.

He stared at me, I stared at the papers on my hands... Silence is filling the room... It's so loud that I can almost cry.

"Midorima..." Then the spell-like silence was broken, "I'm sorry we can't do anything that a miracle is all we're waiting for." He said like he really want to help me. " You playing basketball for some years is already a miracle. When your heart is slightly weak, you can still play like a normal person. You've been named as one of the Generation of Miracles too. YOU YOURSELF IS A MIRACLE." He said to me and I replied with a shocked expression when he said that I am a miracle.

He looked down to his desk.

"And please... never lose your fighting spirit." He pleaded.

I chuckled that made him look up to me, "What the heck is funny?" He asked with a concerned look.

"I'm sorry... but I am accepting my fortune from now on... good or bad." I said as I stood up, heading out to the door.

"But, Midorima -"

"It's fine like this..." I cut him off and bowed as I leave.

Before I close the door fully I heard him sigh and say "I'm sorry..."

It's not his fault... why is he being sorry?

I walked home...

The street to my place is peaceful and no one is around at an hour like this.

I looked up. The starry night sky with the whole moon is just so beautiful. This view would be much more if it was beside by the lake.

Then a thought came into my mind.

There is a lake near here.

Where is it located again? I just passed by it last week.

Then I remembered the park. There's the lake.

I slightly jogged towards there.

The path to the lake was surrounded by cherry blossoms.

It's falling down on me. Somehow I feel like I'm walking the path to heaven.

Then the view of it becomes clearer everytime I get closer.

Once I got out of the cherry blossom path... There was this stunning view.

The reflection of the moon was seen on the surface of the lake, clear as crystal, pure as the blanket of snow. The stars were shining around it and it kinda felt dreamy.

I feel like I am the moon reflected on the lake, and the real moon was also me. The clouds were my sickness.

Maybe I should reflect more. Because this moon reflected on the lake with the black clouds nearing it. And the view was wonderful. If I do that, maybe I'll bloom even more. Maybe I could be gentler to others.

Then dark-grey clouds loomed over the moon ominously and the lake was perished and brought to despair and darkness once again. But before it was gone, it reflected itself to the lake and showed it's beauty.

Have I already did that? Did I do good things that showed the wonderful part of me?

Do I have a wonderful part of me?

Guess I'm thinking too much. When it's just because of the moon and the lake and the clouds. It's really hard to be a smart guy.

I'll just walk home.

TT_TT

When I came home, I placed the folder on the side of my bed.

I'm gonna take a shower before I got to bed. I feel like I need to cleanse myself.

I went inside the bathroom and brushed my teeth.

"Ah... I forgot my towel."

So I headed out to get it but when I stepped out of the bathroom...

My chest aches... I can't breathe... It feels like what happened back then at the washroom in the hospital... but.. This time... It's different.

It's not because I'm hurt, or wanted to cry or because I'm sad.

It's my sickness.

I opened my mouth and tried to gasp for air as I fell down on the floor.

My face is on the floor... my whole body is on the floor. I can't move.

My heart aches like someone was ripping it off my chest. I held it like it would lessen the pain. I gasped and gasped for more air to my burning lungs.

I slammed my fist to the floor.

I hate it... I don't know what to do. I can't do anything...

I- Is this the way... I'll say goodbye?

Then everything went black.

- (END OF FLASHBACK. hehe.)

They all said their goodbyes and went out. Tommorow's our fight with Kise.

Hope I can still play for our last match this year.

Takao slapped me on the back, "Ah?! What the heck do you think you're doing?!" I shouted as I messed with his hair.

"Ah! Shin-chan it somehow hurts." He said and I pulled my hand back and pushed my glasses.

"Whatever." I just siad.

"Shin-chan..." Takao called out in a soft, serious, calm, and concerned voice.

I just stared at him. He was smiling.

"Shin-chan please don't give up." He said and tears fell down on his face... his smile still on.

He opened his eyes.

I feel so guilty. I never thought Takao will cry infront of me like this because I'm dying.

"T-Takao..." I called out but he brought his right hand up to his eyes to wipe the tears away.

"Shin-chan... Promise me you'll fight it. Tell me you'll survive."

I can't do that. I don't know anything! How can I promise something that could be broken sooner or later?

"Takao..."

"Shin-chan... our senpais are so worried about you. They wanted to stay with us longer but they have other things to do. We wanted you to win with us next year. So don't lose your fighting spirit and play with us! We'll win the number one spot for you.. We'll win... All together!" He said as he sobbed more.

"Takao... I'm sorry."

"Shut up! Don't talk like you'll die! I told you to live!" He shouted with his face on his arm tying to stop his tears.

"Takao... what if... I couldn't?" I asked with a smile.

He stopped sobbing because of the shock he received from my question.

"Sh-Shin-chan..."

"Takao... It's been a miracle I've been playing basketball with you guys. It's a miracle I've been able to stand beside you. It's been a miracle I'm still alive. I can't promise you such a thing when I know that I can't do it. I will if I could.. but I seriously couldn't. I'm powerless now. I can't say that I should survive when I don't control what will happen to me. I'm sorry... but... I had fun. With everyone."

I smiled at him brightly. He just stared with his mouth slightly open because I'm saying things like I won't survive.

Yes...

I won't. Accept the truth.

"Takao... It's unusual for me to be the smiley face and you're the poker face. Wipe your tears away and smile. Idiot." I said as I walk towards the gate.

I heard his footsteps follow and I took a slight glance at him.

He's still not smiling.

I just sighed.

(i suggest that you should listen to river flows while reading. LOL)

"Shin-chan..." He called out. I looked back, not stopping from walking.

"Play for me..." He requested.

I didn't understand but... He was staring at the piano room.

I sighed and headed towards there. Since I missed the piano too, I'll do his request.

I know he's shocked that I'm entertaining his request.

We went here in the piano room without any word to each other.

I sat on the chair infront of the piano and Takao just stood near the door and leaned on the wall.

I put my hands on the pinao keys and started to play.

Takao thought;

_River flows in you..._

_Shin-chan's so great._

_His hands are so skillful._

_But... I think this would be the last time I'll be seeing him play..._

_Hearing him press those piano keys..._

_Probably tomorrow will be the last time we'll pla basketball on a competition..._

_No. I wish he'd survive._

_Agh..._

_I'm gonna cry again._

I'm dying... So I'll make great effort in this song tonight. I missed playing the piano.

_He's really feeling the song. He closes his eyes on the part where it's intense._

_Ahh... Ace-sama's so cool._

I'm dying...

_Shin-chan's dying..._

Hope I'll make it tomorrow.

_Will he still be there with us tomorrow?_

Guess I won't.

_He will... I hope and I pray._

Everyone...

_Shin-chan..._

I'm sorry...

_Please survive._

I'll be saying farewell soon.

_Please STAY._

Then the song ended.

I looked at Takao. He's looking down the floor... and there's a tear rolling down on his cheeks.

He wiped it off and I looked away to hide the fact that I saw him cry.

Why's he crying?

_I'm stupidly crying again. What the hell is my problem? Atleast Shin-chan didn't see it._

"Let's go." I said and we walked out of our school with out any word.

We went at the court slash park.

All that's running on our minds is basketball. We were asked to leave the school because we're not allowed to stay longer anymore so we went here.

"Takao..." I broke the silence. We haven't talked after I played the piano.

He replied with a "mm"

So unusual.

"Let's do our play with Akashi."

He's shocked. I said it out of the blue. But I wanted to do it once more.

"S-Sure?" He thought twice.

I positioned myself in a shooting position already without him preparing, "Eh? I'm still unprepared!"

He shouted but he still passed the ball perfectly... and ofcourse.. It went in.

"Imagine there are opponents." I said to him.

This is like when we were practicing for this move.

"Just like back then?" He asked.

He finally smiled.

"Yeah." Then smiled to myself without him seeing.

We did some things with our imaginary opponents and when I ordered him to do our play I positioned in a shooting form again and he passed and it went in.

"Thanks..." We both said and we stared at each other.

We both just said thanks to each other.

"Well, whatever. Pass it to me." I said.

Then I attempted for one last shot.

And then...

"Eh?! Shin-chan? It didn't went in. Did you do it on purpos- Shin-chan!" Takao shouted.

"Call the ambulance! I'll call!" He shouted as he rushed beside me with his phone on his ear.

He placed my head on his lap as I breathe hard.

It's happening again. Would I be lucky and survive this one too? Or... this is how my life ends?

-(a/n: it hurts you know? LOL)

At the hospital...

I'm in the emergency room...

Takao left to call the others.

Seems like... I'm really dying this time.

So many things connected to me. I feel like not moving already.

I just want to sleep.

I closed my eyes.

Some minutes later, I heard the door open.

"Shin-chan." He called out as he positioned his self at the left side of my bed.

I opened my right eye to look at him.

"What? Takao?" I asked and closed my eyes again.

"*sniff* Sh-Shin-chan." He sobbed. I opened my eyes in shock.

He cries like a baby. Sniff here and there with tears all over his face.

"Takao..."

"Shin-chan... don't leave! We'll beat Kaijo tomorrow! How could you? Are you escaping or something?" He sobbed as he shouts at me.

I smiled at him.

"Takao..." I felt tears roll down my cheeks too.

Somehow, I felt happy for a moment... And then I felt sad.

To think that... Takao and the others are there for me... And that... I'm leaving them tonight.

It hurts. It seriously hurts. More tears came down from my face.

"I'm sorry..."

"Shin-chan... Thankyou... For everything. When we fought with Rakuzan yesterday..." He paused as he cries.

"You believed in me. You still got into that shooting position even if I'm being guarded heavily... I passed them because of that. You believed in me. Thankyou. So now, please... Don't leave!" He shouted.

"Takao... don't cry. Smile for me." I said as I reach out to his head.

I smiled at him when he stared at me with teary eyes. I ruffled his hair and smiled one again.

"Shin-chan..." He said, somehow... he stopped sobbing but tears are still on his face.

"Don't cry... I told you to smile." I said... not taking my hand off his head.

"A-Ace-sama... I can't smile in this situation! I've been listening to your selfish whims all the time but... I can't do than now..." He said.

"I want to see your happy face even once before I go." I said and he looked at me with those teary eyes once again.

"I told you! You'll see it tomorrow! Don't go now..." He shouted at first but his voice faded into a small whisper.

"Takao... I'm sorry." I said.

"Shin-chan... Don't die! Please!" He shouted. Sobbing and trying not to sob.

He looks so childish. Even though I wouldn't see him smiling again... atleast he's been here... Always.

"I told you... I can't."

"Shin-chan..."

"Thankyou... Takao." He looked at me, "For being there. You're always there an you always listen to me. Sorry if I am too selfish towards you all. I know my mistakes now. Please tell the others how I am sorry. I've been the selfish one for all the time. I hoped I could make some of your favors but... There's no time. The sand in my life's hour glass are continuously pouring at the other side. I'm sorry Takao... Thankyou for..."

I can feel it... I'm slowly dying... I'm near it.

I can't say those words. I can't say my last words.

Say it! You dumb bastard!

"Sh-Shin-chan?" He asked as he notices the sudden change in my breathing and heart beat in the monitor.

"No... Not yet! The others are on the way... Shin-chan... No.. Don't! Please... I'm begging you. Shin-chan please..." He begged as he crossed his arms on my bed and buried his face there.

My hand's still on top of his head.

"Takao... Look up." I said and he did. His face is horrible.

He's crying real hard now.

"Shin-chan..." He said as grasps the cloth on my bed.

"Takao... Thankyou..." I felt tears again, "For being..." My heart aches... "My bestfriend." I finished.

He gasped and then smiled a bit with his tears, "Shin-chan..." The happy expression I saw made my day so then I tried to say another thing.

"One more thing." I started.

"What is it?" He said as he panics.

"I'm happy..." Maybe I'll just last for a minute or two.

"Because..." I continued. I was gasping for air.

"Shin-chan don't talk." He panicked more as he sees my breathing go faster.

No... I won't stop talking.

"I... I finally..." He stopped talking when he realized... that this is how it will end for me.

He stopped talking and tears came out from his eyes again. He listened.

"I finally..." I smiled.. he sniffed, "Found MY OWN SHADOW. And it's you. Thankyou." I said it.

He cried harder than he ever cried infront of me.

"I never thought you treated me as your bestfriend! And I never thought you thought of e as your shadow... I thought I'm the only one who's thinking like that." He managed to shout.

I just produced a weak chuckle.

Then the door opened.

"Mido-chin."

"Midorimacchi!"

"Midorin!"

"Ace-sama!"

"Midorima!"

"Midorima Shintaro!"

"Shinatro."

"Midorima-kun."

"Midorima."

Those familiar voices... I know who shouted it. Murasakibara, Kise, Satsuki, Captain, Kimura-senpai, Miyaji-senpai, Akashi, Kuroko, Aomine...

They crowded around my bed and they al have shocked, concerned, faces but some of them have their composure like Aomine, Akashi and Murasakibara.

But, they came here... for me.

I smiled weakly...

These people... they've been with me... even thought the Generation of Miracles did break... they're still here.

Satsuki was crying and Aomine's trying to cam her down...

Kuroko's blank face was now panicked and concerned.

Murasakibara doesn't have food with him tonight.

Akashi's talking to the nurse who called the doctor and is ordering something to her.

Kise's just staring... with is mouth hanged open.

Kimura-senpai is on the floor... his back leaning on the wall.

Miyaj-senpai is kicking the wall and punched it.

Captain buried his face on his hands.

And Takao...

He's still beside me...

"Shin-chan..." He called out. I can't see his face because he's looking down and his hair is on his face.

He looked up with a bright smile and said, "Shin-chan, I'll be your shadow until the end... You'll always be my light, Ace-sama. Thankyou... for everything... Even though you're so stubborn and so selfish and so insensitive almost all the time..." His smile faded but it's still there, "You tried to change it all this day right? Thankyou... for everything... It's been fun being with you. Shin-chan..." He sobbed.

"Everyone..." I said as loud as I can.

Everyone headed towards my bed again as I call them.

My team mates comforted Takao and they eventually cried too.

Kise's shedding a tear but he controlled it.

Murasakibara's eating now... he eats when hes depressed.

Akashi gave out a long sigh.

Satsuki's still crying but what shocked me was Aomine holding her close to his chest. I knew they will somehow be a couple.

Kuroko's staring at the floor as he walk towards me.

"This is the end guys... Sorry if I did anything wrong to all of you... Please play basketball and be great. I learned that, I can rely on my team mates too. It was fun winning with everyone. I hope all of us will understand the term "team work" once again."

"Shintaro..." Akashi called out. He's probably the only one who doesn't understand what I'm saying now.

"Kuroko... beat Akashi for me." I said with a smile.

"Midorima-kun.." Kuroko said with a shocked face.

"Midorimacchi still says jokes like that in this situation... I don't even know you can say jokes like that." Kise said. He's on the verge of crying.

I just chuckled.

"Mido-chin..." Murasakibara said and...

I chuckled.

He slipped a lollipop in my hands.

"Chupa chups." He added.

I chuckled.

"Midorima..." Aomine reacted to the monitors being wild...

These are my last seconds.

I'm happy... I'm happy I have true friends like them. I'm happy my senpais forgave me for my selfishness. I'm happy that, my team mates in Teikō came for me tonight.

I'm so happy I can die.

Well, I am dying.

I chuckled to myself.

Is this the way... it ends?

They looked at me with panicked faces. I know why... this is my last words...

I closed my eyes and smiled...

One last smile.

"Minna... Arigato."

-"Everyone... Thankyou."

(a/n: Is this the way... Is this the way it ends?

get up and chase the vision

stand up watch the world go by

Ahh Ahh

you found, feel the reason

black clouds are filling up my sky,

ahhh ahhh yeahhhhh

LOL. If you're asking what I am doing I am singing It ends by Faber Drive. HAHA. Well it's a great song. So listen to it if you've got the time. LOL

Well, Yes Shin-chan, that the way it ends. Sorry if I'm too cruel. HEHE.

this author's note is long so...

read at your own risk. K? ahaha.

Comment anything... negative or bad. :)

So, I wanna know if you guys cried. LOL. JOKE. Haha.

#iCanAdmit that I almost cried while typing this thing. Good thing someone always interrupts me every time my tears are on the way out of my eyes. HAHA.

Well, I probably broke some rules here on fanfiction dot net... lol.

Author's notes are forbidden right? But I've read some stories here that has some a/n's so... I'm a rule breaker. Haha

Lol. So... sorry for the wrong things... such as grammars and spellings. -_- (I'm recommending you to read this on wattpad... share)

Well, thanks for reading! Please leave a comment! Heihi. You guys are so nice humanoids to read this.. Thanks again!


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